Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Anxiety. Really, I should be medicated. Anyone know a good doctor, have a good drug recommendation? I won't tell, it'll be COMPLETELY anonymous, I promise! No, really, I love my kids to pieces, but sometimes I find myself having an out of body experience looking at a situation thinking. You've GOT to be kidding me. Like the time when Cam wanted to go play at our next door neighbors house and he just WALKED in their house like he owned the place, or how Drew finds it necessary to growl at me in public when he doesn't like something I say or do. Or, when Cam rubs sunscreen on the tile, or how someday we're going to have to have a wad of half-chewed up gum the size of a soccer ball removed from Cam's stomach. Seriously! It's funny, how even after all of these experiences, I have learned to let things just roll, and when I say roll, I mean I'm not hiding in the closet rocking back in forth singing It's a Small World After All. I think...I think, I'm on the path to enjoying the journey. In fact, I had an experience this morning that would have pushed my fragile self over the edge and came out happy and proud of myself (and my cute kiddos). TJ is out of town this week at scout camp and it's been hard for me to work out in the mornings like I like to do and have been trying to do to get healthy and all that stuff. Well, I took the boys running with me today. I had planned on putting them both in the bike trailer/jogger, but Drew really wanted to ride his bike. All I could think of was him stopping and asking for water, or to go back 57 times during the run. I chanted "I am a hollow reed," a couple of times and just decided to roll with it. And guess what, I made it through, I MORE than made it through, I came home really happy. Drew asked for a drink once and wanted to stop once (right at the end), and I only had to tell him to get out of the middle of the busy and dangerous road 4 times, and Cam was as happy as a lark. It was. Awesome. I was so proud of my kids! I was proud of me too, I had my ipod on (with the volume down low) and was able to enjoy the outdoors, have fun with my kids, enjoy my music and in general start my day off wonderfully. So, the moral of the story is, I STILL should probably be medicated, so that I can have more of these experiences...Naw, I'm just kidding, no the moral of the story is, is that maybe I can handle it, maybe I can have a third kid sometime in the near future. Maybe it's ok that my house isn't spotless 100% of the time. Life's good, cause I'm learning to roll.